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One Weekend with my Family

Last weekend I was in my home town. I saw some of my friends and a lot of my family. When you think that your family is crazy then you maybe reconsider that when you read the following comments and happenings in my family:

  • My dad thought that I had an English boyfriend who I am not telling my parents about (as long as he speaks German that is fine for my dad…)
  • When they figured out that there was no british boyfriend my parents started to suggest getting back together with all my ex boyfriends (there is a reason why they are called EX boyfriends…)
  • After that didn’t work out they started to suggest my really good male friends (if we wanted to be more than friends we probably would…)
  • The list of potential new boyfriends ended with my neighbour who I promised to marry when I was 5… That was before his two girlfriends betrayed him with his best friends at the time and before he became an alcoholic, drove a car while he was drunk, crashed into the garden of someone, lost his driver’s license for a year and still drinks…
  • In the end my mum told me that she is telling everyone who asks about me that her daughter will never get married or have kids because she is too career focused (because she knows me THAT well…)
  • Comment of the day of my dad after we spoke about my gay friend in London: “Gay guys are great! You do not have to be afraid about getting raped” (seriously? What does he think about all my straight friends then? *worried*)
  • Second best dad comment of the day when talking about my best friend being with a guy who is 22 years older then her: “You clearly did something wrong…” (what is that supposed to mean???)
  • My grandfather bought a pen that has a camera. His arguments to justify this purchase: “If there is a criminal on the street attacking me, I can just get out the pen and take a picture and he will not notice…” (1. my granddad does not really leave the house, 2. He would not have a fast reaction and 3. how likely is it that he would be attacked by a criminal on the one occasion he leaves the house in a month when this never happened in the other 86 years of his life???)
In the end on the way to the airport my father seriously suggested: “Why don’t you just move back in with us and live with us for a year when you come back to Germany?” – because… go back to the beginning of this post…

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