It always amazes me how quickly a week goes by! There are so many things to do in our house (still!!!) and work wise, I have loads of things on my plate too and having a stupid cold right now is slowing me down as well… But I do not want to complain as I really like my life as it is at the moment!
I’ve had a time at the beginning of the year when I felt really really down. I was not ready to talk about it at the time but I feel more confident to do so now – more than 6 months later.
In the beginning of the year, I lost my job and had to find a quick solution in order to not be unemployed. I knew I had my freelance work but that was only part-time and being unemployed was the last thing I wanted to be. On top of that, I was extremely unhappy due to the fact that my former boss basically told me that I was not qualified enough to do my job properly and that I basically suck at what I am doing. With this one talk, she destroyed everything I was working for since I graduated from university. All the hard work I’ve put into my blogs, my freelance work etc…
I came home that day and felt shorter and very stupid. Who was I to believe that everything was going great? Who was I to believe that I was performing good? I was very quiet that day and simply sad that all my hopes and dreams had been destroyed in just one day. But then I talked to many people: Christian, my friends, my family, my former work colleagues from other jobs and even one of my former bosses. And what came out of these discussions was that EVERYBODY thought that I was doing a great job and that my boss at that time was totally wrong. It took a while for me to realize that I wasn’t the problem. The problem was that she simply wanted to get rid of me and probably hoped that I would quit by myself if she insulted me.
I remembered my old jobs. Two of them I had quit myself due to personal life decisions and both times, my bosses were very upset and asked me if they could do anything to make me stay. Also, I started working for my freelance client in 2007 when I was doing an internship there. Since then, I am working for them constantly first as a team assistant and now in my freelance position which I started in 2009. I came to realize that they would probably not work with me if I was doing such a crappy job, right? They must be somehow satisfied with what I am doing.
In the end, I came out stronger than ever and looking back, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now that I am only working part time and have the rest of the day for my freelance work, which I really really love, I feel so much more relaxed! I wake up in the mornings and am happy to get up! I find more time for my relationship and I have no idea how we would have done the renovation and moving with me working full time. I used the situation for a fresh new start and even though it was terrifying in the beginning, it was also refreshing and exciting and I am more than glad that I did it!
I feel much more self-confident right now than I felt the beginning of the year. I do not mind criticism if it is constructive and not destructive! If something similar ever happens to you (and I really hope none of you will end up in a situation like this EVER!!!), try to remember the things you can do best. Remind yourself of situations in which people told you what a great job you are doing and ALWAYS remember the things you accomplished already! This will make you feel more proud and self-confident and makes you much stronger in the end!
What is your way to feel more self-confident? Please share, I look forward to learn even more about this!
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